kingofcreppyisland:

Bae: Come over I’m horny ;)

Me: I can’t I’m murdering two teeange lovers in a clown suit

Bae: My parents are out

Me:

image

(via lohanthony)

  • my mom: it's 11 go to sleep
  • me: actually its 10:58

efficientenough:

poopflow:

*oitnb theme song plays* *runs 3 miles* *takes 2 hour nap* *goes out to dinner* *comes back and takes a shower* *episode starts*

you’ve got time

(via sniffing)